What is motivation? Definition states that it is the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way / the general desire or willingness of someone to do something. The reality regarding motivation is that it can be influenced but not controlled because humans have free will. What I am attempting to provide is a perspective that I use when trying to motivate some of the best athletes in the world to increase work ethic. I also use motivation to help them with performance when they are struggling with confidence or are in a slump.
My approach to motivation comes from childhood memories of how I was treated as an athlete. I have taken from those memories and grown through years and years of training. I have taken and learned from my time as a Sergeant in the US Army and most importantly from my career as a personal trainer working with thousands of different types of people.
Number 1 - I have to find their underlying reasons for competing (motivation). Why do they play this sport? That is the only true method of personal motivation. Each child is different but generally it could be they play it for their parents and family approval, personal confidence through goal setting, escape from problems (outlet), social approval, love for the sport, and or glory. These are some of the main reasons I have seen personally. Which one does your child operate from?
Example of questions to ask them…
- What do you like about football/baseball etc.
- What do you think about if you make a mistake?
- Do you feel embarrassed if dad/mom/sister etc. sees it?
- Does it bother you to make a mistake or because people are watching
- Do you like it when people praise you for doing well… who makes you feel the best when you do well?
- Can you see yourself as a professional athlete?
- Do you desire to be famous?
There are so many questions you can ask that it is impossible to list. Basically watch their behavior and the answer should become clear. This answer might not be what you the parents want to hear, but it is the reality and it’s always usable as a reference for motivation. Not every child wants to be a famous pro athlete… some just want to make you happy. This tool is useful in everyday life challenges.
Number 2 – Once identified through subtle questions and observations you can use this underlying reason for competing as a way to motivate. I use this method when I positively support a correct action of the athlete and it comes from a place referencing their personal reasons for competing. IT ALSO STIFFLES FEAR… fear is the performance killer. YOU MUST build confidence and reduce fears to effectively motivate. FIND OUT WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO THE CHILD and use it in everything they do.
Examples…
Personal Confidence - Brandon, a teenage surfer, wanted to surf more progressively because he was determined to reach certain goals in his surfing that made him feel accomplished. He was a challenge at times, but an amazing child to work with overall. It took me tapping into his desire to grow in his surfing to finally get his full attention and improve his work ethic. I began teaching him skills from a fundamentally sound legend named, Kelly Slater, showing him how he could progress. As a result, he took that information and started making the finals in his competitions. Motivation to him was an opportunity to grow. His work ethic transformed because he found motivation or a goal to reach.
Glory - Keala was coming back to Hawaii after shooting a 13-hour day on set of the HBO show “John from Cincinnati” to surf in the Maui Honolua Pro. She asked me to pick her up around midnight at the airport and then drop her off at 5am to fly over to Maui. Of course I helped her out. She was super tired and had to compete in huge surf the next morning on only 3 hours sleep jetlagged. She operates off glory of surfing huge waves so I filled her bucket full of confidence by talking about past glories she has experienced to let her feel that way prior to her competition. She was so hyped up by all the past accomplishments and visuals we discussed she was able energize herself enough to win 2nd place in the contest. This is after being sent to the losers bracket because her morning flight was late and she missed her first heat. I could not motivate her if it wasn’t for tapping into why she loves winning in barrels, making her comfortable talking about it, and feeding her the confidence I have in her. The athlete must remember past proof of accomplishments when the task ahead is the same. This method builds internal confidence.
Personal Confidence - It was a few days before the 2006 X Games and Rochelle Ballard was worried about her ability to handle possible 20 foot barreling waves at the “Mexican Pipeline” at Puerto Escondido, Mexico. Her confidence wasn’t solid because it had been a while since she had surfed big waves. My solution was to show her that my confidence in her was strong enough to help figure out a solution (your undying confidence in your child should be obvious to them too). I helped design an exercise to free her of fear. I took her responses and found out she was stifled not by what other people would think but of her own personal confidence in her body to handle a huge wipeout. So we did a lung capacity test to prove to her she could hold her breath and handle that much water. Suicide running drills holding her breath was our shock treatment for her fear. Her lips were purple but she finished without taking a breath, and her confidence was immediately lifted. To sum it up the USA women’s’ surf team took home the gold metal and she got the glory and praise for charging huge barrels without fear because she knew she could hold her breath if she had too.
- Stephanie Lay, January 2008